This week I am spending time teaching at Hume Lake New England, Hume Lake's new camp in Monterey, Massachusetts. This is my second year out here, and it is still just as beautiful as last year.
As I begin to get ready to teach (first chapel is tonight), I'm overcome with insecurities about my “abilities” to teach the Bible in a way that high school students can relate to and understand. Some may ask, “Why?” And I think the answer every time is this: this calling to teach the Bible is so huge that I would be worried if insecurities didn't set in. I want to feel anxious as I get ready to attempt to explain an incomprehensible God to people so that they will hear his call and understand his revelation to them because of this impossible task. I want to feel nervous because I want to make sure that my heart is at a place where I KNOW that without the Holy Spirit dancing and mingling in this experience, nothing changes. I can't do this alone.
So I am so thankful that I am anxious. I am so thankful that my insecurities pop up so that I'm drawn back to a reliance upon Jesus rather than a self-reliance that accomplishes nothing except merely feeding my own ego and pride.
Thank you, Jesus, for keeping me insecure. Thank you for allowing nervousness to set in. Thank you for letting me question my ability to preach so that I rest on your calling and empowering to proclaim you to the world. Please have your way this week. Please fill me, by your Holy Spirit, to preach about you in such a way that every single person here this week can't look away from you.
I'm insecure and therefore I'm ready.